Acceptance

I just have to post this. Beautiful

In 3 Minutes, Kodak Captures the Ache of Gay Love, Dread of Coming Out, Joy of Being Accepted

Ignorant Prejudice even in Dunedin

There have been articles in our local paper about increasing acceptance of different sexualities in our local schools even Catholic schools. However it has brought at least one neanderthal out of the woodwork.

I was too busy becoming a citizen last Wednesday to read our local paper but have discovered an opinion piece written by a man who describes himself as a retired teacher and I am very glad he is retired. Thankfully all the replies have been dismissive of him.
His opinion http://www.odt.co.nz/opinion/opinion/375003/children-exploited-our-sexualised-society#comment-81430 is disgraceful and ignorant. I can only post a few bits.

"I think the ODT ought to be more careful about publicising the lifestyle choices of seriously confused young people, and the views of older people who would exploit them Adolescence and the courtship/dating time of life are always confusing.

They're confusing even if you're normal: if, for instance, you know that you're a boy, and that you find girls attractive and disturbing.

You have to meet girls, figure out which particular girls you're most compatible with, get to know them, find out if they like you, deal with the mind-altering effects of being in love, negotiate tactfully how far to go with them sexually (in accordance with your value system, if any), and decide together whether you want to get married.
Imagine how much more confusing and difficult to be told at a tender age - implicitly or explicitly - that your nervous interest in the opposite sex may indicate not that you're attracted to them but that you're attracted sexually to your own sex - and that that's OK!

And perhaps now to be told furthermore - by a school teacher or counsellor - that despite anatomical evidence, you may not "really'' be a boy (or a girl) after all.

That you can make up your own mind!

And that you should try everything before deciding!

Now, I think that this whole business of sexual "orientation'' and gender "identity'' is a) nonsense, and b) dangerous nonsense.

Human sexual preferences are obviously not carved in stone (or our DNA): why otherwise are we seeing now such an historically unprecedented increase in non--normative sexual behaviours?

These matters are obviously very malleable.
In the past they have been supported by convention and religion (pretty much every religion) and common sense.

I went to school with two chaps who were, in the view of the rest of us (it was a boys' school), somewhat effeminate.

On reflection, they were bullied - though only slightly (nothing physical, and we didn't have cellphones).

Neither of them in later years pursued homosexual lifestyles, nor sought gender re-assignment.

Not only were those "options'' not then acceptable, they were, more importantly, not then fashionable.

Indeed, most people were hardly aware of them.

That's not a bad thing.

We don't have to be aware of everything.

If you're going to choose, why not choose some thing easy and conventional, that is sanctioned by history, that is more psychically challenging and interesting than hooking up with your own gender, and will likely produce a family without technological intervention?

The LGB label gets extended every couple of weeks (LGBT, LGBTI, LGBTQ, LGBTIQ) as people develop new modes of sensual experimentation."

My online reply has not been printed, possibly too late. I have thought of sending it to the print version but it is probably too long and I cannot see how to reduce it.

Thankfully I was too busy becoming a Kiwi citizen to read the ODT the day this article was printed. As a gay man I have found nothing but acceptance since moving to live in Dunedin but know there are pockets of prejudice everywhere. Unfortunately such prejudice in the parliament of my birth country, Australia means it is falling way behind NZ in social development.
I am also a retired teacher, now over 70 and am well aware of the harm done by the attitudes when I was growing up. Effeminacy (what a horrible word) is not necessarily an indicator of one's sexuality  I learnt to hide that just for self preservation. At school I had no idea of what my feelings for other boys meant and it was not until I studied psychology at university that I discovered it to my horror. Choice did not come into it. As a law abiding, church going young man I would have done anything to choose otherwise.
Psychiatric treatment (now discredited) was useless. Fortunately I was able to break my engagement which had been encouraged by the psychiatrists but I have met many men my age who married. The luckier ones divorced, others agreed with their spouses to live an outwardly "normal" married life while having same-sex relationships and some sneaked out whenever possible to meet men. I am sure there are some who just live a conflicted life hiding their innermost feelings. Thankfully in today's society young men (and women) can follow their natural feelings in an open and less conflicted way.
I certainly took many girls out and apparently some saw me as a"catch" and obviously was very attracted in ways other than sexual to my ex-fiancee. Even today most of my friends are women.  However it was not until I had my first serious long term gay relationship (in my late 30's) that I realised what had been missing. That inner buzz and feeling that you do not want to let the other person out of your sight.   While wistful, I rejoice that young gay people can experience that today without the dread of social opprobrium.
I have only met a few transexual persons (and Mr Hardesty it is not the same as homosexual, your ignorance is abysmal). I do not really understand but from my own experience I want to see them receive the same acceptance and assistance that young GLB people now largely do. While confusing to us oldies, I understand the need for adding to the alphabet of people who do not conform to what use to be seen as 'Normal". In fact it is people with views like Mr Hardesty who are now abnormal.

• Reply
• Quote
• Notify

At last the NZ Archbishops speak

Finally there is a response to the disgusting laws recently passed in Uganda and Nigeria

Dear Friends and Colleagues in Christ,
Anglicans throughout Aotearoa, New Zealand and Polynesia continue to wrestle with divergent views on many aspects of human sexuality, and on a Christian response to the marriage or blessing of same gender couples in particular. However, we believe that all Anglicans are united in condemning homophobic attitudes or the persecution of people on the basis of their sexual orientation.
Many of us will have seen reports this week (eg: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-26320102 ) that Uganda’s President has signed into law a bill that toughens penalties for gay people.
This new law includes the provision of life sentences for certain of these new ‘crimes’, and the legislation appears to have been passed with the encouragement of Uganda’s Joint Christian Council – which includes the country’s Catholic, Orthodox and Anglican bishops.
We recall Resolution 1:10 from the 1998 Lambeth Conference, which encouraged Anglicans throughout our Communion “to minister pastorally and sensitively to all, irrespective of sexual orientation and to condemn irrational fear of homosexuals...”
We note with dismay these developments in Uganda, and encourage you to remember that country, those placed further at risk by these laws, and those who lead the Church and the state in Uganda, in your prayers.
Archbishop Brown Turei
Archbishop Philip Richardson
Archbishop Winston Halapua

More on NZ Defence Forces - It Gets Better

Congratulations to new Bishop of Waikato & Taranaki

http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/new-bishop-makes-history-5846746
I am not sure if the vieo can be viewed outside of NZ.

The first English woman to become a bishop was ordained in Hamilton today.
Right Reverend Dr Helen-Ann Hartley today became one of three female bishops in the Anglican Church in New Zealand, and the second to be ordained here.
She also became the first ever female priest trained in the Church of England to be ordained as a bishop.
Dr Hartley could not have taken this step in her home country of England, where the Church is still debating whether it wants to allow women to be bishops.
"They will get there, and they will get there soon, and I hope today will be an encouragement for all those people who are working hard for the ordination of women," she says.
But Dr Hartley says she didn't move to New Zealand to break any glass ceiling in the church.
"This is not a career move or ambition, it is a calling that the church and God had bestowed upon me," says the new bishop of Waikato and Taranaki.
However, she admits it does send a very public message.

Advertisement

"It is significant, it is an affirmation that this is a job that men and women can do equally," she says.
"This is a huge day, this is a life-changing day in many ways."
Dr Hartley would not be drawn on whether gay and lesbian worshippers should be able to be ordained, saying that is something for the Church to debate and decide on.

I am not surprised at her final comment but do note the interest in the media on the matter of LGBT acceptance in the church. We wait until General Synod in May.

My own bishop, whose wife features prominently in the video, holds the same line despite his previous sermons on the matter.
I have already stated that I would not worship in England until they allow women to be bishops which is not much of a threat since I have no plans to visit before 2016 but after the recent deplorable statement by the English bishops I still might only enter churches and cathedrals as a tourist unless there are major developments in that time.

NZ Army shows the way

I am not usually one to compliment military forces but am glad to see this news item in the local paper.

Please take note Anglican Church of Aotearoa/New Zealand

As I have noted  the churches are the last bastions of homophobia in this country.

NZ military most tolerant to gay soldiers

New Zealand has topped a new global index ranking armed forces for inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexuals and transgender soldiers, with Australia rating in fifth place.
The LGBT Military Index assesses admittance, tolerance, exclusion or persecution of homosexuals to measure 103 armies worldwide, the Hague-based Centre for Strategic Studies think-tank said.
New Zealand topped the index and the Netherlands and UK ranked joint second with Sweden coming in fourth.
The US, at 40th, ranked below Romania. Nigeria came last in the survey.
The think-tank noted that New Zealand had produced a video for the "It Gets Better" project, which reached out to young people struggling with their sexuality.
In the video, introduced by then Defence Force chief Lieutenant General Rhys Jones, nine defence force members spoke of being scared to tell their friends and family about their sexuality.
"I was gay, and that was how it was, and it wasn't going to change for me," says a corporal.
"Could I just live with a girl anyway, and still have the kids and the dog and the white picket fence?" says a flight lieutenant.
The video ends with each member saying things get better.
At the start of the video, the NZ Defence Force says it is proud to be an organisation that accepts its LGBT staff.

Thank you Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori

Finally a clear statement from The Episcopal Church of the USA about the vile laws in Nigeria and Uganda.

The Episcopal Church has been clear about our expectation that every member of the LGBT community is entitled to the same respect and dignity as any other member of the human family.  Our advocacy for oppressed minorities has been vocal and sustained.  The current attempts to criminalize LBGT persons and their supporters are the latest in a series, each stage of which has been condemned by this Church, as well as many other religious communities and nations.  Our advocacy work continues to build support for the full human rights and dignity of all persons, irrespective of gender, race, national origin, creed, sexual orientation, physical and mental ability or inability.  To do less is effectively to repudiate our membership in the human community.  No one of God’s children is worth less or more than another; none is to be discriminated against because of the way in which she or he has been created.  Our common task is to build a society of justice for all, without which there will never be peace on earth.  Episcopalians claim that our part in God’s mission is to love God fully, and to love our neighbors as ourselves.  That means all our neighbors.

Full Marks to her.

In comparison the statement by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York is barely worth 50% and far too little, far too late.
They were probably, as usual, trying not to upset the GAFCON bishops too much and as usual they were unsuccessful  as is seen in the typical replies from those individuals.

Meanwhile, here in Aotearoa/New Zealand the silence is deafening. I know it is just coming to the end of the silly season when in Australia and New Zealand everyone goes on holidays but we wait to hear something.
I expect they will wait until  the General Synod to be held in May when there will finally be a report from the Gender Commission.
Discovering what is happening in the local diocese, let alone the province, is almost impossible.  I am very fearful the many on Synod who say they are welcoming of LGBT people will be too afraid to upset the fundies and just extend the process.  I am unwilling to wait any longer.

Here in New Zealand the only remaining establishments of discrimination are within the churches. I am finding it more and more difficult to justify being a member of such an establishment.
Depending on the decisions of the Synod in May, I could need to withdraw my support from the Anglican church of Aotearoa/New Zealand including my regional diocese and my local parish.

Unlike many gay brethren who have broken all contact with the church, I would be unwilling to forego regular participation in the Eucharist so hope it will not come to that.

I am dismayed that there is some news that our church will be welcoming visitors from the GAFCON church of Kenya.  It is some bizarre form of reverse evangelism.  It is under the auspices of CMS.
I regret my youthful support of CMS. I have written before how a previous Rector left my parish in Sydney due to his feelings of same-sex attraction. He became the diocesan leader of CMS. The lack of support from that organisation led to his subsequent suicide.

While CMS may have provided some medical and educational benefit in the areas in which it worked, I consider most of their efforts to have contributed to the benighted churches that exist in those areas today.  It is a longtime since I have directly supported any overseas missions run by a church.  I much prefer my money to go to secular work such as Medecins Sans Frontiers.
We have been asked to pray that these Kenyans are granted visas. While happy for them to come to our beautiful land as tourists, that prayer is not on my list.  If they do arrive, I will not be at my local church those days.

Gays and Fathers

I have been reading about a woman evangelical in the UK, Andrea Minichiello Williams.
She has been speaking in Jamaica advocating they maintain their draconian laws on homosexuality.  I have yet to personally meet a woman who is so opposed to homosexuality.  In my experience it is usually men.
However what has angered me most is her statement that an Olympic diver who recently came out is gay because of the recent death of his father.  This is another of the many stupid myths propounded by homophobes.

My father died when I was 30 yet I can remember sexual feelings about men from at least my mid-teens.  I did not really understand in those unenlightened days until I went to University and began to study Psychology.   I went to see a psychiatrist when I was still at University probably aged 19 or 20.  I told my mother a few years later.  To my knowledge she never told my Father.
I had to hide from him the fact that at the age of 25,  instead of teaching, I spent a week undergoing therapy.  Thankfully, in order to hide it from him, I did not stay overnight in the hospital but returned home which was a problem as my Mother became sick with pleurisy and he could not understand why I still stayed back (apparently working) late each afternoon.

A much better example of the stupidity of this statement is the case of a close friend, David. We have been good friends since university days and he is a leader in his church.
He has 4 children, 3 boys and a girl.
In 2003, my closest friend from school days, Peter,  died. He had originally introduced me to David.  I travelled to the memorial service in Canberra with David and his wife.  Peter knew I was gay but I had never told David although Peter assured me there would be no problem.

Peter had 3 children who all spoke at the service from a Christian perspective.  On the way home I mentioned that it must be wonderful in this day and age to know all one's children are still believers. I assumed it was the same for David.  He then told me his 2nd son was gay. David was and is completely accepting and only regrets that his son took a long time to tell him because he assumed his father, being involved with the church, would not accept it.
David is a great advocate for gay acceptance in his church.

His eldest son and his daughter are both married and he has 4 grandchildren.  I have long had thoughts about the youngest son who is now in his early 30's.
A few months ago David told me that his youngest son has also now come out.  This year's Christmas message mentions both gay sons' partners along with other family news.

David has recently told  me that the older gay son has just decided to have a commitment ceremony with his partner of 8 years. The partner actually asked David and his wife before popping the question.
 They are, naturally, delighted. Unfortunately they do not live in enlightened New Zealand so it cannot be a marriage.

I see no evidence of a missing father in the gay lives of these 2 boys.

Disappointing News

On my first visit to Dunedin in November 2006 I worshipped at the Cathedral and was taken in more ways than one by the Dean, David Rice.

He was in the local news defending the recent ordination as deacon of Rev Juan Kinnear, a man living openly in a gay relationship. Juan later became a priest and was associate priest at the cathedral. He is now Priest enabler at St John's Waikouaiti.

I was disappointed when I finally moved to Dunedin in 2010 to find David Rice was now Bishop of Waiapu with the cathedral in Napier where I worshipped last month.

However he was still able to support the cause of GLBT people in the Anglican church of Aotearoa New Zealand and Waiapu has been a leading diocese in this development.

Last year the Diocese of Waiapu put forward the following motion to General Synod.

The diocese of Waiapu, which covers Bay of Plenty and Hawkes Bay, has put forward a proposal for dioceses which wish to be able to bless same-sex unions to be able to do so, and for gay priests to be ordained.

The Diocese of Waiapu strongly believes that sexual orientation should present no barrier to ordination, the Motion says.

As a diocese, like others, we have experienced first-hand the ministry of gay and lesbian clergy, some of whom have been in faithful, loving, committed same-gender relationships, and believe them to have enriched the life of our Church.

We are therefore grateful that successive bishops have discerned within the lives of these people a call to ordination, and acknowledge this work of discernment is a serious and significant aspect of episcopal ministry.

We have become concerned in recent years that bishops of this and other dioceses appear to have come under pressure to withhold discernment for ordination because of a person's sexual orientation and their living out of that orientation with a loving, faithful relationship, the Motion continues.

As a diocese we believe such pressure runs contrary to the traditional understanding that the responsibility for discerning and acting upon the call of the Holy Spirit on an individual to a life within the holy order of priests or deacons rests firmly in the hands of the bishop of the diocese /hui amorangi.

We therefore ask that:

This General Synod / Te Hinota Whanui affirms the long tradition and practice of episcopal autonomy in the discernment of a person's call to ordination.

The Diocese of Waiapu has also put forward a Motion for the General Synod to:

Move forward with the provision of an authorised liturgy for the blessing of same-gender relationships to be adopted for use by those dioceses which wish so to do.

So I am sad to learn that Bishop David is to return to the USA as provisional bishop of San Juan. I know San Juan needs all the help it can at this time but pray that a similarly brave bishop is appointed to continue the good work in Waiaipu

A Cartoon

Taken from the blog Liturgy by Rev Bosco Peters whom I thank for his efforts on behalf of homosexuals.

Why I campaign for homosexual acceptance

In reply to discussion on my previous post where I was led to relate some of my experiences in Evangelical churches in Sydney.

As a young man I was a youth leader at church, a leader in the Evangelical Union at University, a worker at Beach Mission, involved as a student and later a teacher in the Inter School Christian Fellowship, taught Scripture (in my 'preparation periods') at school, a parish councillor and a counsellor at the final Sydney Billy Graham crusade.

Many of my friends of that time went on to become priests or academics in religious studies. Actually some did reject their faith and others went to other dioceses  but that is too long to relate here, except to say they have been far more accepting of my sexuality when I have met them in later years than those still involved with the Diocese of Sydney.

I expected to teach for a few years then enter Moore College.  I gradually began to realise that would not be possible as I wrestled with my sexuality.

Sometimes I regret that but at other times I think I would probably have not made a good priest and I have had a generally fulfilling career as a high school teacher.

However I soon learnt to keep my head down when attending church.  I went to church to partake of Holy Communion and left immediately after.   Even staying for coffee might lead to too many questions.  There were periods when I stayed away and a long period when I flirted with the Catholic church.  Catholic priests do not (in my experience) shake hands at the door and ask questions then want to visit you at home.  For a number of years I found fulfillment in Acceptance a Catholic gay group which had weekly mass provided by inclusive priests.  While the official Catholic position is bad, many religious and lay people are far more accepting.

Eventually I found my way to the inclusive St James, King Street in the Diocese of Sydney and now to the Diocese of Dunedin.  I still find it hard to be open about my sexuality in church circles and do not volunteer to take any role but I do stay for coffee.

When I was a young man, not only was the church condeming of homosexuality but it was illegal in society.

Today there has been a tremendous transformation in my lifetime. Here in New Zealand there is no longer any official bar to a homosexual.  The first same-sex marriages will soon be celebrated. GLBTI people are able to be open as members of parliament, the legal profession, business, film and stage. There are anti-discrimination laws (from which churches are exempt).

The only place they are not equal is the church.  We are still waiting to see what will happen at the 2014 synod of the Anglican church of Aotearoa/New Zealand.  The Evangelicals are working hard to see there will be no change and the inclusive members (like the Bishop of Dunedin) are not willing to upset them.

Obviously young people today, especially those with a homosexual orientation, do not want to join the church. They see it, rightly so, as the last bastion of discrimination in our society.

That is why I continue to campaign for full homosexual acceptance, same sex marriage and ordination of partnered gay men and women, in the church.

Finally with regard to those who quote the "Word of God" against my position. As the Bishop of Dunedin has pointed out there are 6 passages that condemn homosexual activity.  There are over 30 that condemn usury.  In the past the "Word of God" was used to justify slavery and apartheid.
"the Word of God" condemns the eating of shellfish.  We can go on.

Even in my most evangelical days while at University, I remember arguing against capital punishment and others quoting scripture to justify it.

I refer to past posts

Worshipping in Dunedin

 The Gay Debate and the Bible

or

More on the Gay Debate

Thank you, Mr President

"Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law - for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well,"

I only wish that when I first began to realise I was gay, back in the late 50's and  early 60's, there had been similar statements from at least one of the world leaders of that time.  Instead in those days I read that my basic feelings were criminal and unsocial and would lead to a life of misery and depravity, difficult to accept for a boy who was otherwise law abiding and lived a rather sheltered life mixing in Church circles.  I was told by a psychiatrist that I should not become a school teacher as it would be too dangerous.  I was 40 years old when my love affairs became legal in NSW.  I remember how wonderful it felt to be legal when I visited the UK in 1974. 

As we campaigned for legalisation it was beyond our wildest dreams that one day we would be campaigning for same - sex marriage.

Here in New Zealand the law to allow gay marriage is progressing slowly through government committees in which the  usual people are taking their chance to spread hate. One guy tonight was on TV saying only a man and a woman were natural.  He should visit some of the albatrosses nesting here in Dunedin.  Another man who stated gay marriage would lead to incresed crime. That at least has led to an avalanche of  ridicule.  

While I have little to agree with Prime Minister Key on economics, he at least is onside here.

Unlike the Prime Minister of Australia.  Back in the 50's & 60's her living arrangements would have been described as "living in sin".  It was unthinkable that a woman would be prime minister. The few women in politics could not aspire to much more than Minister of women's affairs.  If anyone did entertain the idea of a woman becoming prime minister it would not have been a woman living with a man out of wedlock. 

Prime Minister Gillard will go down in history as a woman who was only interested in her own position, unwilling to risk her career for the rights of gays.  And note that President Obama came out for gay marriage rights BEFORE his recent re-election as President. 

Sydney Hate merchants

They are at it again. A letter this week in the Sydney Morning Herald by Rev Nigel Fortescue, who continues to try and put himself forward as next Bishop of Sydney.

In places where the Anglican Church has abandoned the biblical teaching on headship, sexuality and church roles, it is dying. Where they are upheld, it's thriving. Why not check out your local Anglican church this Christmas and see for yourself?
Nigel Fortescue Senior minister, Campbelltown Anglican Churches

A reply the next day

 

All that your letter really indicates, Nigel Fortescue ), is that a proportion of the community, including many parishioners of conservative churches, are living in the past, when women had no rights and people of alternative sexual preferences were often stoned to death.
Christ preached a gospel of love and inclusion, which many found, and still find, difficult to grasp or practise. Conservative Christians seem to forget he ''knocked around'' with people on the fringes of society and was criticised for associating with ''sinners''. Perhaps you should examine your version of ''reality'' and ask yourself if it is really valid.
Derrick Mason Boorowa ( a country town outside the dicoese of Sydney)

 

My email to Fortescue

Three years ago I migrated from Sydney to Dunedin. While I enjoyed worshipping at St James, King Street, a vibrant yet inclusive church which often has women preaching  generally priests from outside the diocese, I found the journey too long.
I moved to the diocese of Dunedin where Penny Jamieson  was the first diocesan woman bishop in the Anglican communion. Juan Kinnear, a  same sex partnered(over 20 years) man had recently been ordained a priest. He was an associate in the cathedral but this year has moved to assist in a nearby parish, he has a full time job at the university.
The vicar of St Johns Roslyn welcomed me although he was full aware of my sexuality. He is now Bishop of Dunedin. In the interim we had a woman archdeacon running the parish. The new vicar is similarly welcoming of me.  Two women  in the parish have been ordained as deacons in 2012 and will probably be ordained priests next year. 

My main point is I find parking hard on sunday morning outside the church. St Johns, Roslyn is a growing vibrant Anglican church even though women are in positions of leadership and homosexuals are welcome.

Moving from Sydney to Dunedin was the best thing I have done for my spiritual life. They preach a gospel of love not hate as found in Sydney.  I am back for family at Christmas and will again enjoy worshipping at St James, King Street on Christmas day, certainly I will not go anywhere near the cathedral.

Prime Minister is a disgrace

It must be just 4 years since I brought my sister to Dunedin to check where I had chosen to live.  I remember watching the US Presidential results on TV while in Manapouri.  We also watched the NZ election results in the same week.  Those results made me consider whether I was making a mistake.  I had just finished living through more than 10 years of John Howard as Prime Minister of Australia.  I opposed nearly everything he stood for. Now I was watching a Labour Prime Minister, Helen Clark, whom I admired from a distance, being replaced by a conservative John Key.  I hoped he would not be like John Howard and thankfully he has not been.  However he needs to control his language.

Last week while speaking to a group of school students in Dunedin he said English footballer David Beckham was "thick as batsh*t.
I do not know nor care much about David Beckham but this is not Prime Ministerial language especially in front of school students. When I was a teacher I would have reprimanded any student who used such language about another person. 

Worse, last Friday  he teased a radio presenter by saying his red sweater was 'gay'. 
After the criticism that naturally arose, he dug himself deeper by saying  he used the term "gay" to mean "weird".  He continued "Young people use it all the time, I don't think too many people would be offended by it"

Sir Ian McKellen warned Key that his language was "careless" and could damage lives.

In an open letter to Mr Key the NZ Post Primary Teachers Association's "Rainbow Taskforce" said the Prime Minister's use of gay as a derogatory term belittled a vulnerable group of young people.
The taskforce had been developed to educate secondary teachers about the challenges lesbian, gay, transgender and intersex youth faced in classrooms and on playing fields at schools.
The focus of the campaign was getting teachers to challenge the use of homophobic language, specifically the use of the word "gay".
"So we are saddened to hear the leader of our country not only use this homophobic language but then explain it away with, 'young people use it all the time, I don't think too many people would be offended by it'.
"You are perpetuating the harmful use of such a simple word," the teachers said.

I totally agree with them.  His language was offensive.

 I end with a statement by comedian Guy Williams.
"John Key is quickly becoming to New Zealand what Borat was to Kazakhstan."

More on Jensen

I have received a copy of the media release by Changing Attitude Australia from Fr Andrew Eaton in Bendigo. Thankfully the number of Anglican churches and Dioceses around the world which support gay people seems to grow. When I was a teenager, it appeared none were supportive although I know that was not completely true even in evangelical Sydney but everything was so concealed in those days. Perhaps the ridiculous comments by the Jensens and their ilk these days is the last backlash of a losing minority. I pray that may be so.
Letters to the Sydney Morning Herald have pointed out the problems with the studies these fundamentalists like to quote.

So, we have two studies claiming gay men's life expectancy is shorter than heterosexual men. One of those, according to its original authors, is out of date (Vancouver at the height of the AIDS crisis). The other, according to independent analysis, is irredeemably flawed. These are the facts. They were not difficult to find and they have not been censored. They do not come from the publications of gay rights groups or other activist organisations, but from the research of professional scientists and statisticians.

Another points out

Perhaps if Jensen, Jim Wallace, et al had grown up hearing that, because of their Christian faith, they were an ''abomination", mercilessly bullied in the schoolyard, treated as a social pariah, disowned by their families or even outcast by their entire community, they may have some understanding of why so many young gay and lesbian people fall into a self-destructive lifestyle of drugs, casual sex and nihilistic hedonism.

Surely the ability for young gay men and lesbians to meet socially, to be proud in front of family and friends of who they are, to form life long same sex partnerships, create their own families, even marriages will reduce the temptation to seek refuge in destructive lifestyles. Churches should be encouraging this not leading the attack on such developments. However to quote Jeremiah:

Hear now this, O foolish people, and without understanding; which have eyes, and see not; which have ears, and hear not:

Just Shut Up, Archbishop Jensen

He is at it again.
It is reported in the Sydney Morning Herald that last night on TV he said
'As far as I can see … the lifespan of practising gays is significantly shorter than the ordinary so-called heterosexual man … what we need to do is to look at why this may be the case and we need to do it in a compassionate and objective way.''

I hate the way he says  "compassionate".  He is one of the least compassionate people I have ever had the misfortune to meet. The look on his face as he says such a thing makes me want to spew up.

One of the reasons gay men I knew have died is that they committed suicide as they could not reconcile their evangelical upbringing with their gay feelings. They did not even have to be "practising" to die that way.

I will name one.

Rev John Turner was my Rector when I was worshipping at St Thomas, Kingsgrove from about 1966 to 1970.  He was a wonderful holy man but left the parish after being admitted to hospital with a nervous breakdown. That hospital specialised in dealing with problems arising from same sex orientation.  It was largely due to this that I realised that ministry in the Sydney diocese was not for me.  Years later he committed suicide. You could say being a minister in the Sydney Diocese was not good for his health .

I personally know 2 other men who were Anglican and in the Sydney University Evangelical Union with me in the early 60's. They later committed suicide due to the pressure of trying to reconcile their gay feelings with their evangelical teachings.
Yet still today the Rev David Booth who has some role, not clear, at St Matthews in Dunedin uses outdated studies to claim we choose to be homosexual. That is a blatant lie. St Matthews is obviously one church in Dunedin I do not and will never visit and I was even horrified to see an advert for their youth group in our church bulletin.

Fortunately our Diocese is led by a much much wiser bishop and the majority of parishes are inclusive. Bishop Kelvin has a link to my blog from his and is well aware of my views.  My only complaint is that he is more careful in his public statements now that he has become bishop than when he was vicar.

A few months ago I was having coffee after the ordination as deacon of a lady in our church. As I looked across the room to the bishop with whom I had just shaken hands, I shocked some around me by saying that if he was one of the Sydney bishops and walked in that door I would walk out the other door.  I have complete and utter contempt for them and their "compassionate" views.

Jensen, I am only a year younger than you and thank God am reasonably healthy. My major health concern is skin cancers. Now surfing when I was young, that was a health hazard.

Outspoken

I have just received in the post a copy of Outspoken - Coming out in the Anglican Church of Aotearoa New Zealand by Liz Lightfoot.  It was recommended in a discussion on Liturgy and at the time Rev Bosco Peters said he had a copy but had not yet read it.  Liz interviewed 11 people, I think in late 2009.  I have only read 4 so far.  Names are disguised which is okay but it is a bit frustrating that locations in New Zealand are also disguised. So far none are like me. One man and the two women (a couple) were married and have children. The other man,  James, is only in his 30's.  However I find his interview most interesting. At one stage he went to a cathedral (I would love to know which one) and asked to speak with the bishop as he wanted to be sure his sexuality was acceptable to God. The man he spoke to said the bishop was not available but would a canon do. Fortunately the canon was a sensible man and James describes the meeting as a positive experience and he left feeling God still loved him and he was able to serve God.

Unfortunately he moved to Sydney (a real named place) and the experience was very different. He made an appointment with someone at the cathedral (yes the thought of him doing that makes me shudder).  In his words:- "I think he couldn't wait to get me out of his office. His opinion was along the lines of, 'It's really wrong: don't do it and don't expect any acceptance here if you do.' So that was fine, I walked out of there. "
He dropped out of church attendance and lived a precarious life while in Sydney and attempted suicide.
This to me is an obvious result of the Jensenist attitude.
Interestingly he feels that the average congregation in Sydney is more accepting than in New Zealand while the clergy tend to be the other way. Of course most New Zealand clergy have not been brainwashed at Moore College and are allowed to think for themselves. However I have noted a tendency for those in charge in New Zealand to be afraid that if homosexuals are more fully accepted in the church it may turn others away. In the words of Caiaphas, it is necessary that some will suffer for the good of the whole.

The other part of James' interview that I found interesting was that his mother gave him the name of 3 psychiatrists. The first told him that being gay was not a problem and he did not need a psychiatrist. Unfortunately that was not the view when I visited psychiatrists in the 60's, things have improved greatly. The 2nd was in the Baptist church and told him he could be changed and sent him along to a group meeting. Fortunately a rather promiscuous friend went with him and the result was laugh out loud material. The friend recognised many of the members from the local beats and went up and greeted them by name. The third was a psychotherapist who asked if he really wanted to change and told him that apples might become oranges but they are not really very good oranges. A bit strange analogy but it showed him that he might be a rather pathetic straight guy or a successful gay guy.

James is now back in New Zealand and a member of an accepting Anglican congregation. He is walking the tightrope of being an out gay in the church and an out Christian in the gay community. 
Liz points out that it is very lucky that he went first to the canon in the NZ cathedral rather than the person in the Sydney Cathedral.  Unfortunately young gay people in Sydney do not have that chance unless they find one of the few welcoming churches in the city such as St James, King Street and Christchurch St Laurence.

Worshipping in 2010

Due to my move and travel, I have attended a number of different churches this year.

On the first two Sundays in January I was still at St James, King Street.
Leaving St James was the hardest part of my move.  I loved going there, it was such a breath of fresh air after years of struggling in the average Anglican parishes in Sydney.  I had always avoided the more fundamentalist examples but even when I attended those who had Holy Communion every week and still used the prayer book for their services, I knew that I was not really welcome as a gay man. Or rather I could attend but, like women, I should know my place and not even read the lesson during services.

At St James I knew I was welcome and did not have to hide my sexuality. The services were beautiful, the preaching excellent and there was a great variety due to the many visiting preachers, including women priests from other dioceses. Of course they had to suffer the indignity of being relegated to role of deacon while in Sydney, even Bishop Barbara Darling.  The St James Institute provided a variety of courses which informed my Christian life.

However the 2 hour travel each way was difficult and because the parishioners come from all over Sydney (mainly fleeing the surrounding swamp of evangelicalism) it was hard to develop friendships. I know they are trying to remedy the problem this year. And always there was the dead hand of the Diocese and Jensenism overhead.  I returned for two Sundays in August and will be back there on Christmas Day. We will not have the Prime Minister in the congregation this year as Kevin Rudd no longer holds that position and I presume will attend church back in Brisbane.  Julia Gillard does not attend church.

Then I moved to Dunedin and began attending the parish of St John the Evangelist, Roslyn.

Under the previous Vicar, Kelvin Wright, this parish has developed into probably the most vibrant parish in the diocese. I have formed a number of friendships although I only registered as a parishioner after my return from travels in November. There is a good choir but they do not attempt anything too complicated, the services are not as Anglo-catholic as St James, however there are candles, a processional cross and the altar is acknowledged. These things are nowhere to be seen in the average Sydney parish.  They use the variety of liturgies available in the NZ prayer book which I feel are a bit confusing, coming from Australia where there are really only 2 liturgies available. Of course many Sydney parishes ignore set liturgies all together.

The liturgy and hymns are projected on a screen. I now use the screen for hymns but prefer to use the book for the liturgy. The parishioners include a great variety.  In a conversation, one man told me he had been recently been born again and later expressed reservations about the formality of the cathedral services.  Most, however, are middle of the road Anglicans found throughout the world and only seen as "high church" in dioceses like Sydney. They seem oblivious to the dangers of Jensenism, have heard that Sydney does not allow women priests but surprised when I tell them some parishes do not allow women to even speak and have services not remotely resembling Anglican.  Kelvin often preached in support of homosexuals, including my first service there this year, however he is more reticent now that he has become the bishop.  He appears to be unwilling to create divisions. I am rather concerned that his last published sermon was in July at St Matthews, the leading evangelical parish in the city.

This, of course, is the greatest change at St John's.  Kelvin was consecrated bishop of Dunedin at the end of February. It is great to have such a man in that position and also to have a bishop who knows me by name. Last week I attended the service in the Cathedral for the Pike River Miners. Let's face it, I would not have attended such a service in Sydney if one of the bishops was preaching. Kelvin's sermon was, as usual, excellent and thoughtful, speaking of Christian hope without laying it on thick as the Sydney types are wont to do, seeing such an occasion as just another opportunity to evangelise.

St John's is therefore without a vicar. We had 9 months with Roger who was also excellent and his sermons were great fun as well as instructive, though different from Kelvin.  He had retired last year and has just this month left to resume his retirement.  I will leave any judgment of the new acting vicar until I have experienced more than one service with her.

The new vicar is migrating from England and will not be here until next August. He is Reverend Eric Kyte, Priest-in-Charge of the Parishes of Gisburn and Hellifield in the Diocese of Bradford, England.  As I plan to stay with a friend who lives in Bradford next year, I may take a peek. 

St John's has a variety of ages, which is good to see. There are the old codgers like me and many babies and small children. Being an old codger who has no experience of children, grandchildren or even nephews and nieces, I am sometimes (often) irritated by the noise of children during services. The third Sunday is a family service and the children do not go out to Sunday school and the sermon is geared to them. 


I have therefore taken the opportunity to attend Choral Eucharist at the Cathedral of St Paul's on that Sunday. This month there was a children's pageant at St John's on the 2nd Sunday so my routine varied and I went to the cathedral then. The choir and organist are both excellent and the service is more formal, more like St James. The congregation are older and smaller though this is more noticeable due to the size of the cathedral.  Sadly, I hear, there are ructions within the congregation.  Both the Dean and the Bishop have referred to this in their blogs. I do not know the details but it is a matter for prayer. I know there are financial problems due to the recession. They were not unwise, like Sydney, just too careful so income from assets is low. I do wish they would update their webpage.  Of course, the great attraction to me is the presence of Rev Juan Kinnear, a partnered gay man, as Associate Priest. To have him occasionally preaching or presiding and often present is wonderful.


Besides the monthly attendance on Sunday Morning, I have attended for other services such as the Pike River memorial, the Aids memorial, Advent carols two weeks ago and hopefully festival of Nine Lessons and Carols tonight. 


This year I also visited several churches while on my travels. I researched the details of the Anglican churches in Copenhagen and Oslo but when the days came, I decided to spend my time sightseeing rather than trying to find my way through a strange city. Two other Sundays were spent on board ship in Norway and travelling by train from Mainz to Oberammergau. 


However in London I attended Choral Eucharist at Southwark Cathedral. I had heard Dean Slee preach at St James on April 19, 2009 and been impressed. Sadly he was absent when I visited and, as is well known, has since died. The sermon by Dean Jeffrey John at the funeral tell what a great loss that has been to the Anglican church not only in England but throughout the world.  Even without the Dean, it was an uplifting service at the cathedral. 
I went to Evensong at the other cathedral in London the following Thursday.


In New York I attended Choral Eucharist at  Trinity, Wall Street. 
I was travelling the following Sunday from Burlington, Vermont but attended Mother Amelia's parish church of St Andrew, Newcastle, Maine. The new rector is a partnered lesbian. It was very different from the big city churches I otherwise attended on my trip.


In Montreal I went to Christ Church Cathedral. The president was the Priest in charge Rev Canon Joyce Sanchez and the preacher was the Associate priest Rev Karla Holmes. The new Dean has since been announced. Canon Joyce announced that she had just taken up the right to perform marriages again. Apparently she had relinquished the licence in protest at not being able to perform blessings for same-sex couples.That has now changed in the Diocese of Montreal. In researching her online, I discover she is chaplain to Integrity. 
If I had been a week later I would have found all the bishops of Canada at the service as the Canada synod was held there. I probably would not have got in.


My final Sunday was in Ottawa and I discovered an Anglican church in the next block to my hotel.  The church of St John the Evangelist. I did a double take of the notice board until I read it more closely.  It said "Blessed are the fundamentalists for they shall inhibit the Earth" My initial thought to avoid the church completely was soon changed. 
Another notice was "The Lion shall lie down with the Lamb but the Lamb will not get much sleep"
More research discovered that the church has been a leading advocate of gay inclusion and the previous rector may have been gay himself. So I was glad to attend. 
Both Canadian services had innovative music and in Montreal there was a welcome and the first lesson was read in French and in Ottawa the Lord's Prayer was in French. 

So partly on purpose but also by accident I was able to worship in inclusive churches where GLBT people are valued.  So different from most of Sydney.

This item was in my mind while travelling and has been in development online for several weeks. I do not know how some very busy people are able to make several blog items per day. 

Progress

Saw this advert in the weekend magazine of our major city newspaper. Centrelink is the Government department which provides social payments. Now that I am 65, I am one of their clients.

Why I get so angry

I have been reading posts and listening to the funeral sermon for Lee Davonport. I never had the pleasure of visiting his blog. First I read about him at Culture Choc then at Franiam. Fran led me to My Manner of Life where I read the following comment from Lee.
"For many years, I have dealt with feelings of self-loathing, primarily because I never lived up to my parents' rigid standards and, more recently, because I committed the ultimate betrayal, coming out to them as what Dad calls a "queer" in an effort to shame and hurt. But his words don't shame and hurt. He's not my judge, and neither are the people who would deny me the right to be exactly the person God created me to be."

At the same time I have been reading comments on Preludium, Madpriest and Thinking Anglicans about whether Liberals can be as nasty as Conservatives.
A particular commenter has been Obadiah Slope who I know to be from the Diocese of Sydney. I do tend to see red when the so called Anglican Diocese of Sydney is mentioned.

Much of it comes from my anger at the damage evangelical teaching has done to so many young gay people.

While Lee seemed to have a lot of problems, the condemnation of his parents was certainly one of them.

In the film 'The Bible Tells Me So' I was most moved by one lady who is now working for gay acceptance in the church but only after her daughter committed suicide. The mother had rejected her daughter.
Similarly the book 'Prayers for Bobby', recently made into a TV documentary not yet shown in Australia, tells the story of a mother who, guided by her church, condemned her son and only came to realise how wrong it was after he committed suicide.

One of my closest friends has a gay son who only came out to his family later in life because he expected condemnation from his church going parents and siblings. Fortunately he was wrong and today his father is very active in working for gay acceptance in his church but laments the fact that his son (unlike his other children) has left the church. When we were together at university, the father had been liberal in his religious views and I had worried about the state of his soul, how ironic.

I have a number of friends from my evangelical days at Sydney University who, I now know, were struggling like me with the conflict between their sexuality and their religion. One committed suicide, most of the others rejected the church.

I do not blame the parents who have learnt so tragically. I do blame and will continue to react in anger to those who continue to preach their dogmatic views.

Thankfully when I was in great conflict over my sexuality, I had the complete love and support of my Mother (I never told my Father). Many times, when I thought death would be the easy way out, the thought of what it would do to Mum held me back.
My Mother never understood and preferred not to talk about it but I know she had a long talk about me with my sister a few days before she died. She was so concerned I would be alone in the world. Her love for me overrode any teachings she heard from the church. Sadly other parents do not see things that clearly.

My prayers for Lee and his children and for all young gay people who do not receive the support of their parents.