Where can I rent a child? UPDATED

UPDATE:
Sadly the funny side has gone.

It is feared more than 40 people have died as ferocious bushfires sweep across much of country Victoria and New South Wales.

Fourteen deaths have so far been confirmed in Victoria and more than 100 properties lost, as swamped fire crews battle dozens of blazes.

The cool change which promised to bring relief to struggling crews has instead brought changing winds, turning fires from extremely dangerous to deadly.

The deterioration in conditions has forced many crews to abandon fighting fire fronts and focus on protecting properties.

Please put the people who have lost homes and even more, those who have died or lost loved ones in your prayers and pray for those of us with yet another day of these conditions although there are no fires near my home at the moment.

ORIGINAL POST : Temperatures are forecast to reach 42' C (107' F) today and 45'C (113'F) tomorrow. They were 41'C (106'F) yesterday. I spent yesterday afternoon in the shopping mall with a friend and the airconditioning was obviously struggling. Up at my place, which thankfully is a few degrees cooler, I had the fan going in the bedroom all night. I do not remember doing that before.
We are only allowed to hose our gardens on Wednesday and Sunday before 10 and after 4. Sprinklers are forbidden but they have announced a relaxation of the sprinkler ban to allow children to cool themselves by playing under them this weekend only. All I need is a child to stand besides my most vulnerable bushes.

Seriously this is the longest and hottest heatwave since 1939 and in some places since records began in the 1880's. The elderly are most at risk (and little children). Bushfire brigades are on maximum alert.
A cool change is expected here on Sunday night and we are told this will be a complete breakdown of the heat producing conditions not just a brief respite as we have had once or twice over the past two weeks. I can hardly wait.

I do wish I had pushed myself a bit more and moved to Dunedin already where summer temperatures are usually in the low 20's C (70'sF) although even they expect a heatwave of 32'c (90'F) tomorrow but I could cope with that for just one day.

This morning when I went out the front of the house to pick up the newspaper, the sun was just peaking over the horizon and I said "Go away Sun".